iWish I Could Say More
by DracoGinny5ever
Summary: He did it for all the years she'd been his friend. He did it for all the times she made him smile. He did it for everything he wanted to say to her but couldn't. In pure Spencer fashion, he gave her a motorcycle. One shot, iGoodbye compliant. Spencer's thoughts during the sweet moment when he gave Sam his bike.


**A/N: iCarly is the property of Dan Schneider, as is most of the conversation between Spencer and Sam. I tried to change as little of the dialogue as possible so that I could best catch this beautiful moment in the series between them. If you haven't seen iGoodbye yet, you should definitely do it. It's a great episode, and you won't enjoy this fic as much without it! **

iWish I Could Say More

The call came earlier that day, when I was still sweaty and delirious with pneumonia.

_"Spencer?"_

_"Hey, Socko. What's up?"_

_"Oh, not much. Except my cousin Rider's a complete ass. You'll never believe this."_

_"Why? What happened?"_

_"Remember that girl I had told you about? The one who's a meteorologist?"_

_"Who, Hailey?"_

_"Yeah. Anyway, Rider convinced her that I was no longer interested and somehow she's decided to go out with him instead!" _

_"Bummer. So, what are you gonna do about it?"_

_Socko snickered on the other end. _

_"Hah. I think the more appropriate question is what I'm not going to do about it. And what I'm not going to do is give Rider that bike I promised him."_

_I felt my heart sink. Sam had worked so hard on that bike. She was going to be devastated. _

_"What are you going to do with it then?"_

_Socko paused. _

_"I hadn't really thought of that. I don't have much use for it, though. You want it?"_

_I blinked. _

_"Are you serious?"_

_"Why not? You fixed it up for me and I don't need it anymore. You keep it."_

_I clasped my hands into triumphant fists, hardly believing my luck. _

_"Thanks, man! I don't know how I can ever thank you!"_

_I could almost hear Socko shrugging on the phone. _

_"I'll think of some way you can repay me later. But right now I gotta go. Talk to you later." _

I hung up the phone, giddy with euphoria, whether from fever or from my new acquisition I wasn't entirely sure. It was silly. I shouldn't have been so happy. I had no use for a motorcycle. But I knew someone who did.

I spent the next few minutes fine tuning the bike. Making sure it was shiny and functional. Making sure everything was firmly secured in the right place. Making sure it was perfect. All that was missing were a few random parts here and there. And that damned choke knob.

I felt a chill and put the back of my hand to my forehead. Still burning up. As much as I wanted to finish the bike, I knew it would have to wait. I passed out in my room into a dreamless sleep, hoping I'd feel better after a few hours of rest.

When I woke up, I was surprised to see Sam in the living room, huddled over the bike. When she saw me come in, her eyes brightened and dropped the motorcycle's cover quickly back on top of it.

"Hey, hey. How are ya feelin'?"

"Pretty good," I answered honestly. "Think my fever's going down. And there's less green stuff coming out of me."

I smirked as her sweet look of compassion quickly morphed into one of disgust.

"Is Carly still upset?"

"Yeah, she's up in her room suckin' down another can of frosting."

My heart sank. As much as having a hundred and three grade fever sucked for me, Carly was the one who was really suffering.

"Poor kid."

As if tuning in to that weird connection she had with me, Sam smiled slyly and I knew she had something up her sleeve to make me feel better.

"But! I got something to show ya that'll perk your saggy butt right up!"

My eyes darted to my rear end. What was she talking about? That thing was like two fresh apples back there!

"It's sagging?" I asked her.

She rolled her eyes and ripped the cover off the bike.

"Da da da daaa!"

I almost did a double take. How did she do this?! There was the motorcycle. Perfect. Completed. With every minute detail attended to in my sleep.

"You finished the motorcycle?"

"Yup," Sam patted the bike fondly. "She's ready to ride."

"Ah - Look at the! Ehh!" I was speechless. I craned my head around the bike's shiny surface, taking it all in. Sam hadn't played around; Mikalito himself couldn't have done a better job assembling this bike.

I supposed the least I could do was scrape up a choke knob from somewhere. Unless...

"You got the choke knob!" I looked at Sam in awe.

"Mama gets it done - Whoo!" She did a funky little dance that brought a grin to my stunned face.

"So, when does Socko give it to his cousin?"

I had to avert my eyes. I was almost certain she'd know I was hiding something from her.

"Uh, that would be never."

Sam stopped dancing, and I could sense her temper raising.

"What do you mean never?"

"Well," I hesitated. "Socko called a little while ago, and he and his cousin got into a fight. And now, he's not giving him the motorcycle."

Sam glanced furiously from me to the motorbike.

"So we did all this work for nothing?!"

Now, I would really have to tread carefully.

"Ehh, maybe you should put the wrench down?" I sighed with relief as she threw it carelessly to the couch.

She looked adorable as she tried to compose herself.

"Well what's Socko gonna do with it?"

"He said I could have it."

It was Sam's turn to be flustered.

"Wha - he - he just _gave_ you the coolest motorcycle on the planet? For free?"

"M hm. But, I don't think I'm gonna keep it."

Sam's gaze darted to the bike, and it wasn't hard to see the longing in her eyes.

"What? You're gonna sell it?"

"Nah. I think I'm gonna give it away."

If she didn't look so cute when she was pissed off, I might have feared for my life.

"Are you insane?! Give it away to who?" She demanded.

I took a deep breath and bravely met her intense blue eyes with an equal fierceness of my own.

"You."

Her eyebrows shot up into her forehead. I don't think I'd ever seen her look so confused.

Or so happy.

"What?" She whispered breathlessly, and I placed the key in her hands.

The feel of her small fingers on top of my own, wrapped around the heartfelt gift I had just given her sent pleasurable chills down my spine. I felt the spark, as I always did whenever she was near me. Whenever I was touching her. It was even stronger now. I'll never know if she felt it, too.

She looked up at me with utmost gratitude. Gratitude and confusion.

"Why would you give it to me?"

"'Cause you're a great best friend to my little sister,"

_Because you're the best friend I've ever known. _

"And you've got a good heart."

_Because you make my heart soar every time I look at you. _

"And you deserve it."

_Because I love you. Even though you'll never know it._

Sam laughed awkwardly. It was infectious. I couldn't help but laugh with her.

"Well, come on. Don't you wanna try it out?"

I should have known that Sam took "trying it out" to mean "riding it that instant in my apartment." I chased her around, chastising her playfully and yelling at her to go ride around on the streets outside. When she had honked the horn and gone whirling around the room a few times, she finally decided to see reason and went to the elevator to head into the night below. Before she left, she hugged me and offered a muffled, breathless thanks into my chest. I hugged her tightly. I inhaled the scent of her hair deeply and wished we could stay locked in this embrace forever. I never wanted to let her go.

I wanted to tell her then. How I'd felt about her all those years. How I felt about her now. She was the sweetest thing in the world to me and, besides Carly, I think I loved her more than any other being on this earth. But the mature part of me, the adult Spencer, knew that in spite of it all nothing could happen. I was her best friend's older brother. Her _much _older brother. Simply put, it just wouldn't be appropriate.

So as the elevator announced its arrival and the end of our moment together with a slight beep, the only thing I said was this;

"You're welcome."

**A/N: Poor Spencer :( Now that iCarly is over I really, really hope that he and Sam will have something in their near futures, maybe in one of the spin off shows! Don't stop believing, Spammers! I know I never will! **

**Thank you for reading! **


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